WHY, Thank you?
In childhood - I always felt unworthy and second best. My father died when I was six and my very intelligent brother went away to boarding school, I stayed at home with my very critical, domineering and controlling mother. It all made me become very defensive and untrusting of others and myself, trying to prove my existence.
control
In adulthood – In my late teens I turned my back on God and everything I had learned about Him at school and church, and lived ‘the high life’ looking for acceptance from humans and satisfaction from material things. I went from a critical, domineering and controlling mother to a critical, domineering and controlling husband. After sixteen years of trying to stick out a very estranged marriage, divorce followed and, although I felt more in control, I was always still seeking something. A corner of me was empty -I always knew there was more to life, more to me and more that I wanted to do with my life;
purpose
I felt I was put here for a purpose, to be of more help to others, but I hadn’t a clue what that was or how to go about it. Over the years I have experienced many setbacks, from close bereavements, burglaries, physical attacks, serious illnesses, redundancies and divorce: but I had been blessed with two wonderful and perfect children. As the children grew up and started to leave home I began to search more eagerly to discover why I felt empty, undervalued and the purpose for my existence.
acceptance
Then--- I met someone who introduced me to a new kind of church. Through consistent teaching of the love, forgiveness and acceptance of Our Father, I experienced the love that I had never known from an earthly father. I came to see that although I had rejected God, He had never rejected me. I asked for God’s forgiveness and since then new security and surety has entered my life, my way of life and my reactions to life –
God is in control in my life.
thankful
I am thankful that I did not commit suicide at the times I considered it because, since I allowed God to be in control of my life, my circumstances have completely changed, including a change of direction, a feeling of happiness and of being accepted and valued. God brought a wonderful man into my life and we are happily married and working together to serve God. Thank you Lord for protecting me through all those experiences, thank you for training me in ‘life’ so that I can relate to others’ problems and give positive assistance.
I can only Thank God for His persistent protection, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and, most of all, love. What have you to be thankful for?
